BIO

   I am a philosopher, so, in advance, let me just say I appreciate the offer to marry your daughter.  I know, our children are likely to be philosophical prodigies, like I was, but let's wait until I'm at a higher position in life—I'm still in the wilderness, you know.

 

   I am a man on a mission.  Many.  My first was to become the first person to never tell a lie for his whole long life.  That failed around the time I turned 4, so I decided to find out whether The Side of Good really wins in the end; hence, from the age of around 5, I turned my life into a serious scientific experiment, and I now have the answer, but it's probably not exactly what you think.  I've been building up to sharing it in a most dramatic way. 

 

   It turns out I'm really good at figuring out the answers to such things, and I challenge you to name one philosopher alive today who's more talented than I am at it.  So as you might imagine, I've never been afflicted with the confused angst most people feel, for I've always had the ability to work it all out without hardly trying... except for the technical work.  Sometimes the kinds of technical tasks I set up for myself require the invention—or revamping—of entire disciplines, which I've done, but only after a great amount of work.  ...for example, my work on symbolic Logic.  I'm an Analytic philosopher—as ambitious as they come—who set out to become a writer and did an MA in Creative Writing in order to win society over—I'm someone who sets himself up to do work in Analytic philosophy that overcomes the Continental philosophers' main criticism; namely, that Analytic philosophy doesn't address human concerns.  It can.  Mine can.

 

  Actually, there's a theme to almost all my projects; they all contribute toward the same things.  I have ever angled for—and preached that—we ought to have a new enlightenment and a golden age for our civilization.  Will it catch on?  Can we stop the pendulum and swing it the other way?  

 

  If you want, and only if you want, I can be your Mr. Rogers, but for adults.  

Side-note: would anyone like to start a club that appreciates and lauds 'innocence' and 'nobility' as ideal traits?